So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
