He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
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