so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
