seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
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