I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
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