Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Randomize
