As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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