smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
Randomize
