dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
Randomize
