I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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