Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
I have tasted many bathrooms
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Randomize
