You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
