Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
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