cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
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