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• (407): View more from Florida

  I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes

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• (404): View more from Georgia

  on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.

  (1-404): View more from Georgia

  i can respect that.

  Fav 14 5189 1055

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• (410): View more from Maryland

  I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.

  (1-410): View more from Maryland

  I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.

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• (864): View more from South Carolina

  no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.

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• 

  Is This New Dating App Elitist…Or Genius?

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (330): View more from Ohio

  He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits

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• (989): View more from Michigan

  Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.

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• (417): View more from Missouri

  Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.

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• (508): View more from Massachusetts

  OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?

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• (701): View more from North Dakota

  I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on

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• 

  Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (352): View more from Florida

  But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?

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• (908): View more from New Jersey

  I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.

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• (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.

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• (480): View more from Arizona

  You also proposed and then tried to jack me off

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• (802): View more from Vermont

  I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.

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• (208): View more from Idaho

  Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked

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