so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
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I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
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I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?