I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.