everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
15 Ridiculous Ways Broke People Managed to Make a Buck
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
These 27 C*ck Blocks Are Savage AF
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Well I just put wine in my tea
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?