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• (270): View more from Kentucky

  32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!

  (1-270): View more from Kentucky

  Hahahaha

  (270): View more from Kentucky

  make that 40.

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• (973): View more from New Jersey

  i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.

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• (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed

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• (407): View more from Florida

  I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.

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  23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce

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• (573): View more from Missouri

  You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.

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• (253): View more from Washington

  drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA

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• (662): View more from Mississippi

  She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.

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• (518): View more from New York

  Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.

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• (314): View more from Missouri

  Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.

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  The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral

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• (716): View more from New York

  The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.

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• (904): View more from Florida

  She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.

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• (540): View more from Virginia

  Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.

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• (719): View more from Colorado

  I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse

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• (514): View more from Quebec

  In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me

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• (914): View more from New York

  I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow

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