I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Randomize
