By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Randomize
