Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
