You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
