I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
