I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Randomize