Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize
