Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
