Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
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