im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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