hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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