Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
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