i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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