On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Every concussion has its silver lining
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
