I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
it was like eating out sand paper
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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