Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
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