Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
Randomize
