i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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