That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Randomize
