Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
