Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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