What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
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