dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
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