we're chasing vodka with high fives
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
The convent might be a nice break from real life
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Randomize
