Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
