party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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