So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
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