You can't motorboat a personality
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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