His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
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