exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Go christen that room with your naked body.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Randomize
