hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
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