mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Randomize
