So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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