he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
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