I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
I'm passing your future prison.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Randomize
