idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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