Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Randomize
