He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
either way he was missing a nipple.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
