Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
if i can run in heels then i can drive
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
