I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
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