At least make sure they are 18
Why
dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Randomize
