just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
50% drunk capacity currently
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Randomize
