Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
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