but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
