we have officially lost it.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
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