yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
