well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Randomize
