I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Randomize
